


A Study of the Newcomers (by Finrod)

by Torpi



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cultural Misunderstandings, Dense Finrod in his natural habitat, Dumb humour, Finrod is a Natural Hazard, Finrod never gets the memo, Gen, Humans learnt from Ossiriand Elves, Ossiriand Elves are Trolls, Scientist!Finrod
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29557956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torpi/pseuds/Torpi
Summary: Letters from the First Age in which Finrod indulges in his hobbies: nature observation and diplomacy. The humans are a delightful new discovery, but they do seem a bit slow...
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno & Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Finrod&Elves of Ossiriand, Finrod&Humans, Finrod&Maedhros
Comments: 77
Kudos: 31





	1. Balls of Steel

Dear cousin, 

I am writing to you to help me elucidate a linguistic problem. I must admit, I am quite stuck. I know you and your brothers have a lot of contact with other species (dwarves, avari, qwendi, those bear-men as well), so I bow to your expertise and plead for help.

As you know, I found those delightful two-legged creatures known as atani. After an embarrassing misunderstanding the first time we met (they clearly haven’t heard your younger brother sing), we did not have any further problems.

I have been studying their language, which is woefully lacking in vocabulary (I found out the hard way when I merely thought they could not see the difference between cyan and turquoise. It turned out they don’t have a word for blue. I was quite interested in this and tested them to understand what colour spectrum they can see; it’s quite limited, but slightly better than dogs. Bullet shrimps laugh at them, as do birds) But I digress!

They kept saying the chief’s son had Balls of Steel.

I was naturally quite curious as previously I had no idea they had such a sophisticated technique of iron refinement while leading a semi-nomadic lifestyle, so I was eager to see how he did it. Since the chief’s son was apparently the only one to have them, it was either a gift from someone, something very rare, or something that was a well kept secret that the chiefs used to keep control of the others. Something like the power structure in a herd.

I asked around to get a better grasp and the atani all informed me, smiling all the while, that the chief’s son had received those from his father. 

When I asked if the Balls of Steel go from father to son, they smiled and told me enthusiastically it was true. I wondered if they multiplied but they answered negatively. Apparently they must be earned in battle or other heroic pursuit. When I asked how big they were they showed me some varying sizes, all improbably big. Such things would be unwieldy. I asked whether they are not too heavy and they agreed they were, but apparently it was not a problem. 

They must be heirlooms. 

I wanted to see them, to check the level of refinement they could do, and maybe I could solve the mystery of their provenience and their real use. I finally found a good opportunity to satisfy my scientific curiosity one evening, during a short walk in the forest with the chief’s son to teach him new words. I had previously tried to see where he kept them but to no avail. 

Thus, while we were watching the fireflies, him in wonder, me shining like a beacon and attracting all of them in my hair, I gathered it would be an opportune moment to ask if I could see his Balls of Steel. 

He stumbled and I caught him before he could tumble in the river. (They seem not to see so well in twilight either- starlight is insufficient to them, poor people, their world is greatly diminished. As these sad thoughts raced through my head I forgot humans feel the to shift every passing moment. He was looking at me like a hare, eyes round, reflecting my light. I made a small joke of him being my mirror, the moon to my sun but it flew over his head, unfortunately. ~~We really need to teach these creatures prop-~~

He was pale, looked sick and yet he was sweating profusely. His pulse was alarmingly quick. I got concerned. (These people get sick!!! And quickly, from a bit of cold water or a sudden gust of wind!! Or if they don't sleep for _all night_!!!)

I asked him if the environmental factors were not conducive for his health and he looked at me uncomprehendingly. I realised I would have to use VERY simple language to speak with him, so I asked whether he was sick. He shook his head vigorously, so I was relieved. I asked again if I could see his balls and he jerked away and asked me why in a croaky voice (he must be at that age!! So soon, he is only fourteen, but looks almost like an adult- these atani really are like mayflies!).

He asked me why I wished to see them.

I told him enthusiastically that such a leap in technological advancement is vital for the future of his people and I could help him refine the process considerably, if only _he would show me the Balls already!_

I unknowingly put too much force into my words and the boy dropped his pants. Literally. I was getting frustrated with his lack of cooperation. He mumbled that I had them too, and I felt obligated to inform him I had no such things on my person right now. He seemed confused and checked my expression to see if I was serious or not. His eyes lingered on my throat then he averted his gaze again. I realised I had been too hasty so I gave him a friendly smile. The result: he jerked back again, this time tripping on his pants and falling painfully (no space awareness either, it’s a wonder they manage to live long enough to reproduce) on his backside.

He still did not show them to me. I started to guess something was wrong in my approach so I changed tactics. I crouched next to him, and apologised for being so insensitive. He seemed relieved and stammered there was no problem, while wiggling back into his clothes. It was an amusing sight. (I think he might have kept them somewhere close to his waist. The exact location still mystifies me). 

I asked him seriously if they are so important he cannot show them to other people and he nodded frantically. I understand. I have something like this from ammë as well. So I allowed myself only one last question: how did he get in possession of the Balls of Steel?

He told me in a strangled voice it was because he followed me around.

I was quite nonplussed. That was not an heroic act. I was still missing something but the boy (he was a boy!!! Sure didn’t look like one- must update my notes about their life-cycle) got up and sprinted away, yelling something about going to relieve himself. He used the vocabulary I taught him instead of the usual coarse `take a sh**`. I was delighted!

I winced at the way he kept crashing into bushes and low branches. I followed him to make sure he did not kill himself. He ran (stumbled, tripped, fell and rolled) until he got home. He seemed to have forgotten to relieve himself. I almost went to their house to tell them but he has parents; surely one of them will tell him it’s not healthy to keep it in. I shall tell them myself tomorrow. 

PS: I told them about you. Apparently, you also have balls of steel. Did you receive any while we were parted? What do they look like? How big are they? What is their steel purity?? I need to know from where we can start with them. 

Yours sincerely,

Findarato Arafinwion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Finrod get what are the “Balls of Steel”? Or will other misunderstandings pile up until he will speak a completely different language from the others? We shall see...


	2. Teaching Colours with Consent

My dear brother!

_I moon over you so much!_

(From what I understand, this is an expression the atani use to show you are missing someone, because they heard The Wanderer always runs after Arien. Such an interesting turn of phrase, I shall use it from now on. You should teach it in your part as well).

Our eldest cousin told me he will come and visit! I hoped maybe you could come as well. 

These atani are really interesting despite their many failings. Do you know they don’t see many colours? 

Anyway, I needed to rectify that situation. Imagine the embarrassing situation where they cannot differentiate between our cousin’s red hair and the red of his banner. Or that they think all the nuances in our clothes are just one solid colour. Or worse? Imagine if they identify the gem colours incorrectly!!! It would spell disaster. So I thought I could at least teach a few and those could educate the others. I think that if they get the words for it, then the feedback to their brains will reinforce the difference thus helping them better differentiate the information. It is a bit like training birds.

So again, I asked for the chief’s son. I figured a fresh pair of eyes (their eyes have so many problems, some cannot even see well ten paces in front of them, never mind eight leagues) would be better at discerning the colours, and a young brain more quick on the uptake. This time I was careful to take him during the day.

I started slow. I spoke with the boy but he was not able to tell me the difference between maya blue and baby blue. That being a failure, I chose something he could see. What colour was my hair?, I asked then. He said Yellow. I let it pass and tried a more difficult colour. I told him to look into my eyes and tell me the main colour he sees there. He looked for a while, eyes watering and then answered...white! Then Yellow. When he saw my expression he added black. BLACK. I hugged him, because he seemed so miserable and I offered to show him the true colours of Arda.

I went to his head directly to explain and I sang to him the colours surrounding us, I showed him exactly what we see; after I finished, he had a strangely light but vacant expression on his face. He was dazed, and he kept stumbling around; his sense of equilibrium was undone; I got a bit over enthusiastic it seems, he’s still a chick. I keep forgetting that, because he has already started sprouting a beard! A beard!! If he were not as tall he would soon look like a dwarf. ( ~~Common ancestor?)~~

He managed to fall _again_ but this time I was too far away to help him in time. The poor boy hurt his back quite severely, I cannot imagine how it feels to be so heavy, to tread with such force upon the earth. They practically sink in it with every step; I had to help him most of the way back. He walked gingerly. He got home, me half carrying him, and the chief saw us, saw his son and his face changed and he asked what happened. I hastily started to explain it was not a big deal, when the boy managed to slur that I went inside him and it was weird and the world looked weird, it exploded into colours that he never knew existed, and that his backside hurts.

A quite accurate and succinct explanation, so I nodded.

The father went livid, took him from me and told me to wait. I offered to help soothe his pain, but he must have not heard because the door slammed very hard. It’s heartening to see how careful they are with their offspring.

I assured the mother, who had come running as well, that I had been gentle and he had suffered no injury. Indeed he had experienced something new and exciting for the first time, this is why he was overwhelmed. I assured her I was quite skilled in what I do and that under my ministrations the boy would be up in no time. I offered to do the same to her and she said she would do that if only we do it with her husband as well. I agreed. We’ll do it at sunset when the colours are bright.

Your very excited brother who moons over you _so much_ ,

Findarato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't really tell the difference between Maya blue and baby blue.  
> I need a Finrod to teach me.
> 
> Many cultures called the sky black, not blue. The most basic colours are black, white and yellow (everybody has them), and the red and green. After that, thigs get interesting XD. (We'll keep talking about colours alot here....)
> 
> What Finrod says about training the boy is about the Reticular Activating System, which (among other functions) enhances the attentive state of the cortex and facilitate conscious perception of sensory stimuli.  
> Maedhros is going there personally and Finrod is inviting more people - the more, the merrier.


	3. Mooning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human Expert Finrod tells Maglor about his brothers’ visit.

Dear cousin,

I moon over you! 

As you know, your two of your esteemed brothers, as well as my _vinya_ came to visit the atani at my urging. There were a couple of interesting things that occured, and as I tell you of them, I hope you will also be convinced to look favourably upon the newcomers and also come to visit and know them personally. 

As everybody gathered to see them, I hugged them and I told the atani I had mooned over all of my cousins. They looked intrigued. `Isn’t he your younger brother?`, One of them pointed out, inclining his head to Angrod.

`Of course! I mooned over him the most`, I said affectionately rubbing my brother’s head. We started talking in osanwe, looking deep into each-other’s eyes, sharing news and I dimly heard the atani snickering (they laugh when they are happy, embarrassed, sad, they laugh all the time. I should learn from them). “They really are mooning over each other”, I heard one say and all went away.

I now know that for humans it is hard to stay in the same place not speaking for half a day; We finally got to say some news and beared to part. I hugged my brother again and as it was already evening, we walked directly to the feast that had been prepared in the guests’ honour.

In the meantime, Tyelkormo has told them he is buddies with the moon. He talked with them easily and seemed to understand everything they told him. He is indeed extremely gifted. Huan was already a pony for the children. 

Maedhros almost got called daddy (atya). In a strange fit of pomp, he had told them all his names and titles in quenya. Of course, the atani did not understand a thing and they were so impressed, all he said became an automatic taboo word. So they somehow got to _atya_ as an acceptable replacement. I told them what _atya_ means, and apparently calling someone daddy is also taboo. They did some complex mental gymnastics and arrived ultimately at the unfortunate appellative of Pig (hunc) - how do they know gnomish despite not having any contact with them? They are now talking about the Red Pig (Hunc) now. I am sorry for him. They seemed to enjoy calling him that immensely. 

The dinner started at about midnight, despite everybody taking their seats at sunset. The reason being that for atani the guests should start, whereas for us the host should start….Maedhros the Red Hunc did not want to be impolite and so stoically resisted eating. For us it was simple, but the atani were eyeing the plates hungrily. And also resisted. This practically became a battle of wills and finally, when some small children started crying, Maedhros relented and started eating. The wine flowed freely after that and soon all were merry. 

As usual, I got two girls sitting in my lap during the first course. Children are so nice. They insisted on feeding me as well and I also gave them some choice bites of food. Some girl-children also tried to get into my brother’s and cousins’ laps but they demurred citing some reason. I am not sure what they said because right then the chief’s boy, my favourite, as the atani had dubbed him, also came up to me and changed with the girls.

I fed him as well; he is still a child even if he doesn’t look like one, merely fourteen. At that age I was still chewing my hair! I also explain this to my cousins, who do not know the humans grow up so fast but are still children.

Tyelkormo looked at the chief’s boy speculatively, then asked him if he was interested in spear fighting. The boy blushed and stammered and he started laughing so loudly the atani had to cover their ears. Maedhros looked at him disapprovingly. The following conversation is mainly reproduced because it is still a bit of a mystery to me. I know you like word-games challenges so I include it to you and maybe you will decipher it. 

Tyelkormo, eyes shining brightly: ‘Finrod is quite handy with a spear’. 

‘I am better with a sword’, I retorted.

‘He has a _big_ sword’, Tyelkormo informs the boy who accidentally almost falls off my lap so I straighten him up and put an arm around his waist to stabilise him.

‘He knows, he saw it already’, I replied, slightly irritated at his baiting.

‘Did you?, He asked the boy and he nodded hesitantly. ‘Both of them?’, He continued leaning forward eagerly, moving his eyebrows up and down. The boy looked at him and something in my cousin’s expression must have given him a clue, because he finally grinned the same conspiratorial grin and nodded. 

‘Next time, teach my cousin about the spear length comparison’ he tells the boy and is immediately invited by a bunch of young atani boys to moon the moon. He seems to find that an excellent idea and all go over the hills making a lot of racket.

‘Don’t blame me if you get a silver arrow up your arse for that’, I hear him laugh. He must be drunk. They are not attacking the moon, why would they get attacked by Tilion? Does he think his old friend now hates him? I wish I could soothe his worries but I do not have the time, as the boy wiggles out of my lap and runs to tell something to his father and Angrod starts inquiring in hissed whispers about the proper protocol regarding the end of dinner.

When they left, after two weeks, Tyelkormo tells me in parting that mooning has another sense, meaning in being bathed by moonlight. I was eager to show my new understanding of language so I asked some atani friends if we should all go mooning together, including Maedhros and Angrod, the next time the Wanderer is bright. The girl blushed and thanked me but excused herself, pleading something like woman moon problems. Apparently the atani women have some trouble with the moon, that also involves the barbaric practice of blood-letting. I should ask Tyelkormo if he knows something about this. 

As a last plea, despite calling your brother over to satisfy my curiosity, I was thwarted in every attempt by Tyelkormo, who in the end told me his brother’s balls are none of my business. You are closest to him so maybe it’s alright for you to ask to see them. Just, look at them, hold them once and then describe them to me please! I trust your judgement.

Your cousin,

Finrod

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drier humour this time around. 
> 
> Explanations: 
> 
> Mooning over someone: to spend too much time thinking about or looking at (someone or something that one admires or wants very much). Finrod thinks it means missing someone.
> 
> Mooning: expose one's buttocks to someone in order to insult or amuse them.
> 
> Moon problems...need no explanations.
> 
> Taboo names: inspired by oceanic tribes’ mechanism of having taboo words depending on context; things got really complicated. As a simple introduction, NativLang on YT has an excellent introductory video about that.
> 
> Finrod knows too many languages, thus he mistakes hunk for hunc (gnomish for pig....).
> 
> The atani love brazenly telling Maedhros to his face he’s a hunk (under the guise of taboo words). The elves don’t get it since they make the connection to hunc (pig). 
> 
> (What is this, plot? Hint of characters’ Motivations? Yes, things will be over soon XD).


	4. Urgent Matters in Beleriand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters beween Fingolfin, Fingon and Maedhros regarding urgent matters.

_To my esteemed ~~half~~ uncle, the High King of the Noldor, _

_Spring has finally come to Himring as well. Things are silent for now, and I saw the first rose-breasted grosbeak. The sun has started warming even the frozen hill of Himring and Could you make Finrod stop asking about my balls already? He has asked all my brothers, cousins, the healers, the dwarves and any other sentient species that has ever met me; I received a pair of balls from Azaghal with the congratulatory message “you have grown a pair” written in Khuzdul. The balls are attached to beautifully carved paperweight in the shape of a red boar. The accompanying message informed me I should put it into a preeminent position next time Finrod comes._

_Thingol sent me a mace he has dubbed The Ball Crusher, informing me he has others in his arsenal._

_Even thralls that have recently escaped from Angband somehow know of this!! I only have to receive an official letter from Morgoth at this point._

_Maedhros_

  
  


**_Official message from Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor to Finrod Felagund:_ **

_Hereby all use of the word ball or balls, in any language is forbidden._

  
  


_Dear cousin Fingon,_

_Our esteemed - ~~Red Hunc~~ \- honourable eldest cousin seems - ~~to have blue balls because of me-~~ be upset _ _because of me._

_Why did our esteemed uncle send such a cryptic letter?_

_Did something happen? Is balls a new code word for silmarils?_

_- ~~can you ask him if you can see his Balls of Steel? You saved his life he shouldn’t be able to refuse you!-~~ _

_Finrod_

  
  


_Cousin Maedhros,_

_Why does Finrod keep asking about your balls? Do you have any? Is it a new type of steel? Why don’t I know anything about it? Cousin????_

_Fingon_

  
  


_Fingon,_

_My little cousin - ~~who has gold braids instead of a brain-,~~ it’s a metaphor regarding male genitalia which implies you have what would be described more accurately as nerves of steel (unbending). _

_Azaghal made an accurate depiction of it but despite the artistry, it goes straight to the deepest part of my chests, right next to secret plans and operations in case of spy interference. Finrod has that annoying habit to rifle through people’s things._

_Maedhros_

  
  


**Transcribed urgent palantiri session between Nelyafinwe Feanarion and Findekano Nolofinwion**  
  


_Fingon: Why doesn’t anybody tell him that then? I’m soon going to meet him to see those atani he keeps talking about. Should I tell him?_

_Maedhros: NO. Don’t tell him; he’ll try to verify that literally. And if he knows what to look for, can you imagine him asking any male he comes across if he can see their balls? Just don’t. I told him some things are better kept a mystery. For his own safety, and for our sanity DON’T._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros finally cracked. His Balls of Steel have been the talk of Beleriand and Finrod is determined to get to the bottom (lol) of this (since he promised himself he won’t ask the chief’s boy anymore).


	5. Weapon Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finrod writes to Celegorm (and also boasts of his relationship with the atani- Celegorm’s easy camaraderie with the humans had wounded his pride).

Dear cousin,

I know you made fast friends with the atani; I recently visited them again and I wished to inform you of some linguistic changes that have appeared there.

So many things have changed! There are so many new children running around, and the children I knew are already adults (!). 

Their vocabulary and culture is also changing, and I am proud to say I seem to have had some hand in that. 

One I realised immediately is the use of the word blue in expressions, the foremost being the one “blue balls”, in “I have blue balls because of someone”. This means you are upset or frustrated because of a certain person. I am not entirely certain how they got to this one (maybe because they saw how frustrated I was because I could not see the chief son’s Balls of Steel and they used the word blue to denote the colour of steel? ~~That’s not the real colour,~~ I hope not, but nevertheless, their vocabulary improved).

For another, they are becoming more noldor-like. They talk a lot about jewelry, specifically, family jewels. I showed them mine and told them all there is to know about them: colour, density, weight, care, uses. They were very impressed, and I allowed them to touch and hold them briefly. 

My friend, the chief’s son, came to welcome me. Even though only four new years of the sun have passed, he got so big!! He transformed into a bear. He came with a water pitcher and welcomed me in the sun, streaming flower water over my hands. After giving me fresh cold water with crushed fruits and leaves steeped in, as well as a nuts and honey cake he hugged me and this time he also managed to raise me up in the air. Then, he asked me to try wrestling with them. I consider myself his teacher especially, so I agreed. (I remember when I went there the first time and they gave me some dubious alcoholic beverage that tasted horribly! It seems them learning more about colours has given them new ideas regarding food and drink! They are quite smart!)

On the way there, we reminisced about that time I trained with his father in an impromptu weapons training session after I taught the boy the colours. He came charging after me with his battle axe and we had an invigorating freestyle session in the village, in the forest, even in the river. The chief is very good and with the pointers I gave during the training he improved immensely. I almost got my head split open a couple of times. In the end he got too tired so I proposed we continue that some other time. He accepted and for a while, every time I went there I would train with him like that. 

We got to the field where we were to wrestle and the chief’s son started taking his clothes off so I did the same. Somehow, I always glossed over it, but these people have SO MUCH body hair; curly hair on his chest, his underarms, arms, legs, name the body part, hair was sprouting there. It was like a chick has sprouted wings, or a leafless winter tree got its summer leaves (an apt description because he looked like a walking bush with that beard and mane of hair as well. His head-hair is quite nice. I did a quick estimation on the density of hair per square centimeters and arrived at the mind-boggling conclusion they have about five million hairs on their whole body!!!! I really wanted to touch his beard and chest hair, but I would never be so crass to tell him, or even try to do it during training. I would let things run their course-although in wrestling you have a lot of body contact so I will probably touch some naturally, I thought).

The boy stood tall and proud (and hairy) and started by telling me he will get a fistful of my hair so I automatically responded as one does after such a threat: With a flying double kick, one to his solar plexus, the other at the side of his neck (did not kick his throat because I don’t think humans can survive that), and he fell like a tree, unconscious. I felt really bad for him, but he should really learn some manners. I think the lesson stuck; nobody ever mentioned touching my hair again.

After the training, when we went back to the village proper, I got invited for the first time inside their house. There I found out the chief’s son has a younger brother who is about ten. I hadn’t seen him the past few times I was there; his older brother told me he was finally allowed to meet me as it was generally considered safe. I told him I would not be upset about lack of manners in children, as he well knows (he’s not a child anymore, and I am going to respect that). 

We drank (of course), and gave me a very strong alcoholic beverage that apparently will put hair on my chest and make my balls drop - I think that means one’s reason will drop, making him inebriated so I advised against it. They laughed and slapped my back (they are quite strong). I still drank them all under the table. 

In the evening, since all males were sleeping the alcohol, I visited the old women they call matrons or wise-women, for the first time as well. They were all sitting in a room, spinning, talking and laughing. They received me with great joy, exclaiming over my looks and youth. I got offended and embarrassed. I told themI am not young and I asked how old was oldest woman there. One told me she was 97. So young! I exclaimed and all laughed. I told them I shall call them young maidens because that is what they were to me. I sang with them, danced with them (I had to carry them most of the time since most couldn’t walk anymore and some were really bent- but it was fun trying to figure out how to dance with each), and their happiness and mine mingled and it was as if I was also a child the same age as them. 

Lastly, before I left, they thanked me and gave me many gifts. A lot of wool, also some finely woven silk (they had silk?!?!?). It is quite precious, unfortunately it will only hold for a hundred years or so; saddening I should lose it so fast.

Apparently I became very popular with the wise-women; the men all congratulated me and after that visit I could see a marked change in all of them. I got invited to many houses and was showered with gifts. It got really embarrassing; the all women loved to tease me and comment on my looks and voice even though I desperately tried to change the subject. They are very good at verbal debates; I even got bested once in an insult contest (the woman was ruthless and bested me without using any taboo words). 

Speaking of popularity, during this last visit I heard my name a lot, but nobody was calling me. “Don’t be a finrod”, “you are such a finrod”, “behave like a finrod”, and many other variations that I included separately according to frequency, age and sex. 

Do you know of it? It’s quite embarrassing to hear your name all the time; I thought everybody was calling for me and I kept running from one end of the village to another, through houses and fields to see what they wanted to tell me. Apparently, I’m just famous.

Your slightly embarrassed but highly flattered cousin,

Finrod

* * *

Omake

Elves and some random atani while waiting for Finrod to say his goodbyes to all his friends:

‘We used to have balls in Valinor’, says one elleth sadly, watching the village square intently. The other nod as well.

‘Really?’, a young man asks.

‘Yes, but not anymore’ she replies sadly. ‘We gave up on them when we came here’.

‘That’s… sad’, the boy replies unsure. He looks green but the elves are not really paying attention, halfway on the path of dreams.

‘I miss my dancing balls’, sighs the elleth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elves and hair... and of course balls. I think everybody knows these.
> 
> The family jewels finally make an appearance! (This was the thing that started it all...) Finrod, once again, shows them literal jewels while the atani definitely talked about something else. Yes, it’s because of him and his questions (and conclusions) about the Balls of Steel. In honour of Finrod they started calling those, the family jewels as well. 
> 
> The poor chief’s son tried to start a flyting and got KO’ed because he used Finrod’s trigger word.
> 
> Regarding the expressions with his name, I went from the Nimrod- the character of the hunter in the cartoon who is a parody of Nimrod the Hunter; there it’s used ironically since the cartoon character is incompetent. It thus appeared an expression you are a nimrod, or being a nimrod, denoting a stupid/incompetent person. 
> 
> Here finrod became synonymous to crazy, maniac, idiot, endearing idiot, person who cannot read the atmosphere, etc. It is a very versatile expression.


	6. Rites of Passage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letter to Aegnor

My dear brother, whom I moon over a lot, 

At your request, I compiled (from personal experience), more information on the rites of passage that occur within this particular atani community so I shall give you a brief description of those I have personally observed as an active participant. I am gladdened that you show such earnest interest in this subject; these people are close to my heart.

Regarding your inquiry from your last letter, of course I know all their names, but they are afraid to have their names written, as it would bind them to the writer so I respected their wishes. I shall never write their names on paper. They use knot writing and that is alright; they gave me some of their stories and legends in knots; I have also become somewhat their records’ keeper, no doubt because of my memory and long life. Frankly, they do not need me, as their wise-women have very sharp minds and recall all the important things. I suspect they wished to show I was included (or the wise women, who seem to have a soft spot for me, insisted I should be part of their group; I do not know if I should be flattered or embarrassed to be included in an all-women group. When I expressed my doubts, they patted my hand and told me they should give me another name, Nóm, and then I would not be out of place. Everybody started calling me Nóm after that, but they stress it wrongly; I do not know why. They did not correct themselves not even after I repeatedly corrected their pronunciation. Nevertheless, they always seem happy to tell my name. I still hear finrod a lot, the newest being, ‘Nóm, you are such a finrod’. Of course I am. I tried to correct their grammar but this has gotten out of my hands. Language is a living thing and I am but one.

Wedding

As you know already, the chief’s boy and one of the girls who used to sit on my lap (and who refused to go mooning with me) have gotten married. She went mooning with the boy instead, it seems. I was invited as a sort of guardian. As this was new for me, I thought I should rise up to the occasion. Asking around, I realised the guardian must provide some of the necessary things for the couple. I knew they would be in want of many things, so I tried my best, also asking our cousins to send their regards as well. I gifted them gems, horses, weapons, built them a house fully furnished and I also prepared some toys in advance for their future children (they’ll probably have at least ten!). My favourite is the box of magnet ~~balls~~ spheres and metal bars that can be used to make complex shapes; easy to use and help children develop their spatial awareness. My friends’ reactions were a bit confusing and I apologised, afraid I might have neglected something, but the chief called me a Finrod and told me it was enough. I did not correct his grammar that time since it was a joyful occasion and contradictory discourse should be left behind.

I danced together with the new couple and afterwards I sang them all a song of spring and joy. The next year there were surprisingly many new babies born. I heard that every family got a new addition. Although their procreation power is frankly amazing, it must have been a good year for them. Some who apparently couldn’t have children thanked me; I have no idea why, their rules of politeness sometimes too obscure even for me.

Funerals

I have not yet seen any; some atani are simply gone when I go back to them. Every time there are faces that have gone and many new ones who all hail me as a friend although I do not know them. 

One time, the chief with whom I used to sit by the fire and talk about faraway lands was not there anymore. 

Coming of age

The chief’s boy (now the leader of his people), has had his first son’s coming of age ceremony just a few days ago. I went to congratulate him and give gifts (I am, of course, a guardian figure to the boy as well, as well to many others. Every time I went there, there were people marrying or having babies and all insisted I should be their guardian.)

After passing all the tests as the atani say “with flying colours’ (of course he was good, I trained him), I was proudly informed the boy also has also inherited the ba- spherical objects of steel from his father. ~~I still couldn’t see them.~~

I shall give you more details in person. I hope you have finally time to visit them as well. 

Finrod, called Nóm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The atani definitely timed their weddings/ births after Finrod’s visits lol.
> 
> Finrod’s wedding song got everybody going XD.
> 
> The superstition about the power of the written word has been a real element in the interaction between advanced civilisations and simpler ones.
> 
> (The ancient japanese had the same about portraits as well, this is why heian era portraits are all similar and sketchy)


	7. Fare thee well, friend

Father, 

I received a letter for the first time from the chief, in which I was invited to a last visit before the autumn rains. 

When I arrived, all the family, including the chief, came to welcome me despite their age. They are bent, but their eyes are bright and they come to me, fëar shining strongly despite their cumbersome bodies. I see it now. Their fëar are getting too strong for their bodies to contain. They long to get free and soon they will.

They hug me and I kiss them on the cheek and they pat me as they would a kid so I do that to them in turn- they are still children to me- and we end up kissing and patting and being quite ridiculous. 

‘You are such a Finrod, Nóm!’ They both sigh and kiss my cheeks. 

‘I am _the_ Finrod’, I reply and they laugh and agree. 

We stay and speak of things long gone for them. For me, they were passed in the blink of an eye. They have grand nephews and it suddenly strikes me as strange and I long to see them. I stayed with them for dinner, a great song of voices, laughing and teasing each-other, all trying to get a look or a touch at me. I let the children climb over me, reenacted the great hunt their great grandfather participated in and that venture in Ossiriand that almost killed us both. I braid their hair. 

After dinner, all of them came one by one, starting with the youngest and whispered in my ear their heart-names. I had to give a speech after that show of trust ( I am officially in their family now), so I wished to all children to have Balls of Steel just like their great-great grandfather and great-grandfather and if they ever get blue balls from anybody, I know some great finishing moves. They all laughed and shouted and I smiled. (I am so happy I can use the word balls with you; you are in Valinor and the ban does not apply to you, in fact I appeal to _you_ , to get my ban revoked, atya!).

And finally when all, even the eldest child, are asleep by my songs, the moon girl told me she wishes to see the small Blue Falls ~~they aren’t blue~~ from the nearby hills again, in the arms of a good looking man. I blushed and was quite shocked. Her husband was next to her. He just laughed and said he would love to see that with a good looking man as well. So I took them both, carried them up the slopes and we arrived to the falls just in time for the sunrise and stayed there together until it was light for them as well. They thanked me, and I felt my face get hot. It’s strange, I never get flustered around our people. They told me of their childhood memories (they called it youth), and I could see it; their memories were strong and full of light. We watched the sky together and they told me of their eldest son who had left much earlier. A murmuration of starlings have started their dance in the sky, and watching their maneuvers, both their fëar departed out of Arda. I tried to follow, to see where they were going but for the first time I felt shackled. They were free. 

I hope I will meet them again at the remaking of Arda. Until then, I can only wait.

Your son,

A finrod called Nóm, friend of Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch a starlings murmuration and be amazed!!
> 
> What do you think of Finrod? Was he really that oblivious or was he the greatest troll of all of them? I’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments, I made enough ambiguous statements (although I do have a headcanon XD).
> 
> This has been a lovely journey, thank you to all who read until the end. There are many ideas I haven’t used, so Finrod’s adventures might not be over yet. 
> 
> Until then, fare thee well, friend :)

**Author's Note:**

> Will Finrod get what are the “Balls of Steel”? Or will other misunderstandings pile up until he will speak a completely different language from the others? We shall see...


End file.
